Before and After...

Well, tomorrow is our big day, our departure for our future as a family of four.  We've got a long journey before us (Tampa-Washington DC-Moscow-Vladivostok) and we've already traveled a long journey just to arrive where we are.  Part of the fun has been decorating the new room.  When Evan was born we, of course, created a beautiful nursery.  Little M is a bit beyond that stage and since Evan, for now, is so enthralled with the idea of sharing a bedroom with his little brother, I had the opportunity to create a new boys room.

We converted our playroom/kids guest room into the new boys bedroom, mostly because it had a window centered on a wide wall and it perfectly fit two twin beds, one on either side of the window.  Evan's old bedroom will become the new playroom/guestroom and now is home to a new desk for our school-aged boys.

Since we won't know for a while what theme will occupy little M's mind, and it wouldn't be fair to let Evan choose for both of them, I kept it pretty simple, just soothing cool grey tones, bright stripes and a fun rug with rockets, aliens, flying saucers, etc.  We took more than a few trips into Tampa to visit our closest IKEA.  The beds, as well as the closet conversion, are all from IKEA.  It will work out perfectly for now until they decide they've had enough of each other and want their own rooms.  The only thing left to do is finish up a valance for over the window.  It's half-built and can wait for our return.

We owe a huge debt of gratitude to our favorite next door neighbor, Ed, who helped us tear up old carpeting and lay down the beautiful new flooring and install lighting in the closet.  It couldn't have turned out more perfectly.  We are so blessed to have such a generous and talented neighbor who, luckily, has too much time on his hands.

So without further ado, the official unveiling of ......  

THE BOYS ROOM!

Before

Room for two and lots of storage.

Newly Organized Closet for Two!  

Stay tuned for the next post from Vladivostok!

Three more days...

"We're going to Russia to pick up my little brother!"  I realized that no matter how busy Evan is enjoying his summer, he seems to always have this little detail in the back of his mind...  he tells everyone what we're up to.  And I mean everyone, including any server in any restaurant, the lady at the dry cleaner, the instructor at his summer camp, and any cashier at any grocery store.  He's ready to go get his little brother.

We, well, we're almost ready.  We're preparing ourselves for the very long journey to bring home our little guy.  I am happy to be seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. I'm ready to not be waiting anymore.  While the adoption has moved relatively quickly, (we signed with our adoption agency in August) the waiting for news of referrals and travel dates has been incredibly difficult.

So the last loads of laundry are being done, dog sitter supplies have been purchased, dogs have been bathed, refrigerator is being emptied of perishables, luggage is out and LONG lists have been made of what we need to fit into said luggage.  After all the preparations we've done, I only realized this week that I need to go shopping for jeans for Evan.  I checked the weather forecast for Vladivostok and Moscow...  Highs in the low 70's and lows in the mid 50's.  Florida's summer season began in March and I haven't thought about purchasing long pants for my little guy since last fall.  Shorts are the standard here.  I just realized he only has one pair of jeans that he hasn't outgrown. 

I think the most difficult thing is trying to prepare for an attempt at keeping everyone's sanity during three weeks in a small hotel room with a seven-year-old and possibly little M, the four-year-old.  We'll arrive on a Sunday, go for our medical exams early in the week and are scheduled for the big day (Court) on Friday the 24th.  If all goes well during the hearing and the judge grants us parental rights for little M, we'll have a ten-day waiting period.  We're told that it's up to the director of the orphanage whether or not we'll get little M during the waiting period.  

Getting out of the hotel is easy, but within walking distance is a small beach on the Sea of Japan, which, we've been told, is not recommended for swimming.  Vladivostok has a pollution issue.  It is most famous as a port town, home to the Russian Federation's Pacific Fleet and very industrial.   One out of every three workers is employed in the auto import industry.  Vladivostok is geographically close to Japan, although I'm guessing the import industry has taken a huge hit in recent months.  There is a train station within walking distance, so I imagine we'll get brave and attempt to purchase tickets and work our way around town during our waiting time.  Otherwise, we'll be getting creative with entertaining ourselves in the hotel.  

Luckily, the Vlad Motor Inn seems to be the hotel of choice for adoptive couples coming to Vladivostok.  On our first visit during February, I believe there were between six and nine American adoptive couples staying in this hotel.  It's a comforting thing to hear your native language and be around people who are walking the same path. 

Regardless, we are anxious to return to Children's Home #2 to see how much little M has grown, and if he remembers us.  And to introduce M and Evan.  I can't wait to see them together.

Here are photos of the front entrance to Children's Home #2.  We're told there are about 120 children between the ages of 4 and 17 living here.  

23 Days and Counting

Yesterday I took Evan to our local pharmacy for his Visa photos.  He was so excited, he walked up to Martina at the photo counter and said, "I'm here for my passport picture!"  She started laughing and then I gently reminded him it was a visa photo and that he already had his passport.  He did a great job standing still and did his best to not smile.  I still don't understand the Russian request (or culture) of asking for a photo without a smile.  Pretty hard for a seven-year-old who can't wait to meet his new little brother.  His was definitely cuter than either mine or Jose's.


Visa application:  CHECK!  Jose fedexed our passports, visa photos, and Russian visa application (and another big check) to Go To Russia, a company that specializes in assisting with travel visas.  


Airline Tickets:  CHECK!  Jose also worked out our travel arrangements with an awesome travel agent.  While we will be taking the long way around (Tampa, to DC, to Moscow to Vlad), the good news is, it was less expensive than the short way around (through South Korea) and we get to see Moscow!  I kept saying to Jose, "I just can't imagine us making two very long trips to Russia and not getting to see Moscow."  Who knows how many years it will take us to get back there.  With family in Spain and Michigan and many other favorite places we love to travel, I just don't see Russia near the top of our list any time soon.  Maybe when little M is a teenager.  We'll depart June 17 and due to the time difference, arrive on June 19.   Happy Father's Day!   


We'll then get ourselves settled into the Vlad Motor Inn for about three weeks while we journey through doctors appointments, our court date, visits with little M, our ten-day waiting period, and more paperwork to get a Russian passport for little M.  After that, the four of us (God willing) will board an airplane and head west toward Moscow where we'll do the necessary work to obtain a visa which will allow little M to enter the U.S. with us.  We'll spend six nights in Moscow and hopefully we'll be capable of communicating enough with  little M to be able to survive a little sightseeing.


All this AND the final Oprah Winfrey show in one day.  It's been a very good day in spite of one of my favorite shows ever ending.

We Have A Court Date!

I was 15 miles into my Monday morning ride on the Suncoast Trail with my friend, Kathy, when I heard my cell phone sounding.  Today, summer showed up in Florida; the thermometer peaked over 90 degrees before 9:00.  I quickly braked and dug into the sweaty pocket on the back of my biking jersey attempting to retrieve my phone, hoping I'd get to it before the ringing stopped.  On Saturday, we had received an email from Michigan; our Vlad coordinator learned that we had finally been assigned a judge.  Apparently this judge has the reputation as the "fast" judge, whatever that means.  We were just thrilled to have something, anything.  If having the "fast" judge is a bonus for us, then all the better... we are grateful.  The waiting game plays tricks with your mind, attitude, good humor, patience, faith...  Everything gets tested.  Every day that passes during this wait is another day that a wrench could get thrown into the mechanical process and anything is possible.  There are no guarantees in this game and it's a challenge to keep a positive attitude through it all.

I saw that the caller was, indeed, our coordinator from Michigan and I signaled a big thumbs up to Kathy, since we had just been discussing whether today would be the day that we'd finally get "The Call."  I answered, "Hi Lorien!"  I heard from her excited voice, "We've got a court date!"  I don't think I could have had a bigger smile on my face and my heart started pounding.  June 24.  Further off than we were hoping, but perfect nonetheless. I explained to Lorien that since I was miles from home on a bike in the middle of a wooded trail, I'd get myself home, connect with José and then call her back right after lunch so we could discuss the details of visa requirements and travel dates.  

Three months and eight days after meeting little M in Children's Home #2 in the outskirts of Vladivostok, we have a court date... and the fast judge.  Oh happy day.  I called José to share the news before pedaling off toward our Starbucks pick-me-up.  "José, I just had a call from Lorien.  We've got a court date!"  I could feel his smile through the phone. I told him we were headed back and that Lorien was expecting our call.  

I celebrated with Kathy over an iced Starbucks soy latte and celebrated with José over a big kiss. It's a very good day.  

Now down to business...  acquiring visas and figuring out our travel route.  Since Evan is out of school as of June 7, our travel calendar is clear.  Jose´s employer is extremely understanding and supportive of adoption, so his travel schedule is clear.  We plan to return to Vladivostok via Seoul, Korea, as we did the first trip.  Our biggest question is whether to travel to Moscow after our court date and ten-day waiting period for little M's visa or to use the courier to do it for us.  Apparently it's an 11 hour flight from Vlad to Moscow.   While we would love to see more of Russia than just the quaint and industrial port city of Vladivostok, it's probably more prudent (and cost effective) to send a courier.  That way we only have to pay for one airfare to Moscow rather than four.  We're running numbers now and working with a travel agent to see what we can come up with.  It would be a shame to travel twice to Russia and not see Moscow.  In this case, I just keep reminding myself why we're going to Russia...    

This afternoon when Evan came out of school before our daily bike ride home together, I shared the news with him.  He nearly jumped off his bike with excitement.  Just this morning he was asking when does he get his little brother.  Every night he asks if he can sleep in their new bedroom — I reply, it's not quite finished yet.  And it's not.  A few more details.  Tonight when I tucked him into bed, I said, as I often do, "do you know how lucky Mommy and Papa are that out of ALL the little boys in the world, we've got you?"  He replied, "and M!"  Yes,  and M.  Almost.  It's a good day.

More paperwork, please!

On Monday, we learned that our court dossier was accepted and that everything was complete.  Unfortunately, we also learned that little M's court dossier package was still in need of something that the coordinator there was now trying to round up for the judge.  We've been told it's something not commonly requested by the judge but the US coordinator couldn't tell us what it was exactly.  This puts us a little on edge... at least until we learn what that document entails.  After Monday's call, we feel like we're sooooo close, just still waiting for a court date.

Then yesterday, we learned that the Department of Education in Primorsky Krai (Vladivostok) just had to undergo a review by the Ministry of Education.  The MOE is based in Moscow and they are the governing organization federation-wide for all of Russia.  Apparently all went well during the review, but one change was made to policies and procedures which affects every family from now forward attempting to adopt in Vladivostok, Russia.

All families adopting from this region are now required to fill out an Anketa (registration) form.  For us, at this stage of the game, it's like a doctor telling a couple that they need to have another first date once they're already pregnant.  Seriously?  The most frustrating part of this is that every single tidbit of information requested on the Anketa is something that's already been provided, at least in triplicate at this point.  And the kicker is that yes, once again, we've got to get them (one for Jose and one for myself) notarized and then sent off to Tallahassee for more apostilles (that's like a notary of the notary stamp).  More running around, more document fees, more fedex charges, just to give them information they already have.  Bureaucracy at it's best.

Okay.  I'm done venting now.  Just can't wait for little M to come home with us.

Another small step...

It has been two months and five days since we met little M, the precocious and funny small fry we are hoping to adopt and bring home to the U.S.  He is waiting for us in the Children's Home #2 in Vladivostok, Russian Federation.  In another post, I'll get around to describing our first trip which happened in February.

We find ourselves waiting, very impatiently, for the news of our court date and our second trip to bring little M home.  Apparently what has held everything up since we finished our court dossier is a letter from the Department of Education in Moscow.  We learned that they send it snail mail... considering it had to cross about 10 time zones, probably pony express, it's amazing anything ever arrives in Vladivostok.  Today we learned that our DOE letter, which officially releases little M from the national adoption registry, has finally arrived in Vladivostok!

Now our coordinator takes our court dossier package, along with the DOE letter to the courts,  a judge will be assigned to our case and hopefully we'll learn of our official court date.  That is, unless we need to provide any additional information to the pounds of paper we've already sent.  Wish us luck!  Fingers and toes are crossed here.

Names

I just finished sending little M's full Russian name, which we learned on our first trip to Vladivostok, to our US coordinator for her records.  It seems so strange to me to have his entire name... mostly because of my own adoption.  For 42 years, I never knew my birth name and my mother (adoptive) didn't know it either.  I often wonder what the future will bring... will he want to search for his mother when he gets older?  I did, ever since I was a teenager.  I wanted to know everything.  Funny thing is, we've been told lots of things about his mother by the social worker already.  In my search for my past, I always had the hope that there would be a positive outcome... a happy ending.  I am one of the lucky ones, my birth family reunion was a dream come true.  I learned that I was loved from the very beginning, that I was held and kissed and snuggled and wrapped up in her arms full of love.  I learned that my birth mother never wanted to give me up and that my adoptive parents always told me how much they wanted me.  How lucky am I?  Knowing what I know about M's parent, I don't see that as possible for him and it makes me very sad.  Maybe I need to just give it up to the universe to decide and stop trying to decide how things will be for him.  It's his story... his choice, his past, his life.  We'll never know what type of reunion is possible for him and his birth family.  Maybe it could be something amazing and positive.  All I can do is love him and always provide for him a place to come home.  I am so very blessed to have this opportunity.